I knew a man who’d cast doubts on me for I wouldn’t readily make promises. The only thing I was sure of was my love for him, but not when and how things would unfold for us. I accounted for changes and uncertainties of life and would not entirely do away with skepticism.
He, however, was different. He was sure that we were meant to be, or so would he say. He made grand promises and claims of being tied to just one person alone for the rest of his life, quite early on. He would dismiss my apprehensions if I would have them ever. Eventually he had me put all my trust in himself, more than what I accorded myself. And that’s where I made the biggest mistake. I believed that there was this man, I would grow old with and be in love with forever.
But as life would have it, here I am years after he well demonstrated the emptiness of his words, still feeling love for him that I can’t possibly explain. So ironical, that those who didn’t make promises kept them, and those who did, forgot about them altogether. World is indeed full of contradictions I have now learnt. But, damn, words ought not to be used so carelessly. I am not sure what it was: his short-sightedness or deceit in his nature, or both.
To love someone is one thing, but to trust your own self, your own instincts, and reason is of foremost importance. Never do away with skepticism. Keep it in the background, because the moment you realise the trust is not honoured, its breaking should not break you. If your skepticism is intact, however surprising, it will not seem like an impossibility that makes you delusional.
Anyway. So never ever trust anyone more than you trust yourself. Also, because when it’s broken, you might just find it very difficult to trust anyone again. And then living and feeling become not so bearable. Trusting someone is important. When you trust another, you feel at ease. Life becomes a breeze. How much would I want to be able to put my trust in someone, gosh.
So make sure those who took you for granted, and hurt you, who’ve led to so much distrust in you, cease to exist for you, for once and all. Make them vanish, poof! And then with a deep long breath, hit the final nail in the coffin, as you bury their remains.
Hope for positive. Indeed something new and special, with someone more genuine and real, who respects your trust as well your skepticism, will follow through. It will. It will, once you have thorougly done away with any preoccupations with an undeserved past.
To a fresh start!
Signed: February 11th; a date I have remembered so far and will remember again for undoing it all.